The Signs

  • Controlling the finances.
  • Withholding money or credit cards. 
  • Giving you an allowance.
  • Making you account for every penny you spend. 
  • Stealing from you or taking your money. 
  • Exploiting your assets for personal gain. 
  • Withholding basic necessities (food, clothes, medications, shelter). 
  • Preventing you from working or choosing your own career. 
  • Sabotaging your job (making you miss work, calling constantly) 
  • Early warning signs that your date may eventually become abusive: 
  • Extreme jealousy 
  • Controlling behavior 
  • Quick involvement 
  • Unpredictable mood swings 
  • Alcohol and drug use 
  • Explosive anger 
  • Isolates you from friends and family 
  • Uses force during an argument 
  • Shows hypersensitivity 
  • Believes in rigid sex roles 
  • Blames others for his problems or feelings 
  • Cruel to animals or children 
  • Verbally abusive 
  • Abused former partners 
  • Threatens violence 
  • Common clues that indicate a teenager may be experiencing dating violence:
  • Physical signs of injury 
  • Truancy, dropping out of school 
  • Use of drugs/alcohol 
  • Pregnancy 
  • Failing grades 
  • Indecision 
  • Changes in mood or personality 
  • Emotional outburst 
  • Isolation 
  • From the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence newsletter, Winter 1999 
  • You may be becoming or already are a victim of abuse if you:
  • Feel like you have to "walk on eggshells" to keep him from getting angry and are frightened by his temper. 
  • Feel you can't live without him. 
  • Stop seeing other friends or family, or give up activities you enjoy because he doesn't like them. 
  • Are afraid to tell him your worries and feelings about the relationship. 
  • Are often compliant because you are afraid to hurt his feelings; and have the urge to "rescue" him when he is troubled.
  • Feel that you are the only one who can help him and that you should try to "reform" him. 
  • Find yourself apologizing to yourself or others for your partner's behavior when you are treated badly. 
  • Stop expressing opinions if he doesn't agree with them. 
  • Stay because you feel he will kill himself if you leave. 
  • Believe that his jealousy is a sign of love. 
  • Have been kicked, hit, shoved, or had things thrown at you by him when he was jealous or angry. 
  • Believe the critical things he says to make you feel bad about yourself. 
  • Believe that there is something wrong with you if you don't enjoy the sexual things he makes you do. 
  • Believe in the traditional ideas of what a man and a woman should be and do -- that the man makes the decisions and the woman pleases him.